Friday, October 29, 2010

Cheshire Cat Makeup

Today my homegirl, la loca Janessa came over to play. She has a real job that is real stressful so she decided to take a P.T.O. day. Since its not summer anymore and we can no longer sneak into her grandma's backyard to go swimming in her pool, we decided we would try Kandee Johnson's makeup tutorial of the cheshire cat. I have never been good at "art" so I was hesitant it would even come out. I also didn't think i had the colors of paint to do the look but we used everything from eyeshadow to lipstick to create the look. Its was freaking hilarious and we were dying laughing the entire time. I started off pretty serious though and got mad at Janessa which she thought was funny. We even made some videos of our favorite characters. Janessa said I cant post them on youtube because she doesnt want to "end up on Tosh.0" but she gave me the permission to put them on my blog. Gotta go wash my brushes now.

 In the lab
Egyptian Cheshire

Shout out to Kandee Johnson! Thanks so much for the tutorial! 

Laughing so hard. Happy Halloween b*ch*s!!!! Westside till we die. 

Sunday, October 24, 2010

I get it from my Mama

"Woman is but an engine of ecstasy, a mimic of the earth from the ends of her curled hair, to her red-lacquered nails." -Sylvia Plath
"When I dance my body feels so excited and elated. A special feeling runs through my bones. Such orgullo (pride) and dignity, that I may share with others the artistic element of my cultura & heritage. This element being Mexican folklore through dance," writes Rosie on the back of this pic.

She claims this is her all time fave pic of them. 

 Didn't your mom wear a white jumpsuit to her Vegas wedding? Posing in front of a limo they couldn't afford. 

Rosie and a friend she used to make me call my aunt. why didn't she save this wrap around dress for me? WHY DIOS?

Rosie and her dad at my uncles wedding.

 Senior photo 1971, Sacred Heart High, Los Angeles

Her love gave me confidence, the confidence gave me strength, enough strength to walk away....

What did you get from your Mama?

Friday, October 22, 2010

Blazer Fever Pt.1

 Fall is among us and its time to get creative. I figured blazers would be a good layering piece. I had visions of myself in them wearing a corset underneath and skinny jeans. Gheesh, I wonder how many episodes of the Kardashians it took me to figure that out.
I used the
Salvation Army as my first choice to search since it was buy one get one free day, according to my calendar. Here in Northern California they publish a monthly calendar that lets you know what deal is going on each day. That’s more than the “Good”will would ever do for you, even if you are a senior citizen. My only downfall was that I arrived to “the army” with only 30 minutes to shop. I went straight to the blazer section and tried them on in the mirror of a dresser in the furniture aisle since they had already closed the dressing rooms for the day. They were labeled 8.99 each but I figured since I was getting one free, I could excuse the steepness of the price. When granny rang them up though, she only charged me $1.49 total! Budabudaba-ching ching. I had to come home and rip the seams open to extract the shoulder pads though. I used my dad’s leatherman. No time to look for a seam ripper.
The next day…
I went to yet another thrift store, after sliding through half the blazers on the rack it was evident that I am the only one with petite grandmas. Gheesh, these blazers were in sizes 12, 14, 20 ect. I did find a couple though.
About 30 minutes later…
At yet another thrift store. I didn’t set my expectations high. I set off to the lingerie section to look for some cute vintage whale bone corsets. Ok, no whale bones, but at least cute. I’m sorry if wearing someone else’s corset is off-putting to you but we are in the 1st world, where 2nd hand stores DO exist and it’s called a washing macheene. It’s called a recession. After taking a nice lot of cute black, white, and red corsets to the dressing room I realized: Holy ish, corsets are like bras, they are sized according to cup. "The man that knows something knows that he knows nothing at all." - Miss Badu, On & On.
blazer-thrift, corset-thrift, necklace- F-21, pants- vintage Versace, shoes-vintage Salvatore Ferragamo

 blazer-thrift, bodysuit-thrift (relax, i washed it), pants- Calvin Klein petite, shoes-Betsey Johnson, pose top left- from choreography in Beyonce's "Diva" video.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

How to make a headband like Rihanna's & save yourself $1,193.00 USD

I have been in love with Rihanna's headband ever since I saw her wear it in the VMA performance of "Love the Way You Lie." Turns out, the headband is by Jennifer Behr and will set you back 1200 dollars. Aww snap. I had the idea that next time I was in El Lay, I would get my hands on some Swarovski crystals and do it myself. Then she wore the headband again, in her newest video "Only Girl in the World." That lit my fire once again. The devil works in mysterious ways, I was at Joann's (craft store) last week when I ran across this spool of fetch bling. I had to have it to make myself a little bling hippie headband. I had heard they sell these at Claires, but Id rather make it and have it be one of a kind than have the same bling as a 14 year old mall rat. So here are the 2 ingredients to make your own
1. a spool of your favorite bling garnish
2. some clear elastic craft stretchy cord. (I use the .5mm)

and some scissors, but they are a tool.

1. wrap fetch bling garnish around your nugget to size and cut it.
2. tie the ends together with your craft stretchy cord (I tied it in 2 places).  
3. Repeat steps one and two if you want to have 2 on your head like moi.
4. Stack them b*tches and make it work girl.

Keepin it Real: Don't go to Joanns during the day. If you do you will run into all the other unemployed "crafters" and end up in their big tangled line waiting for them to price check grannie's plastic harvest pumpkins, "Oh I thought the sign said buy one get one 30% off." DO go with a coupon, they always have them in-store but they don't have them during the time they can be used so go get yours for next week, this week. They are not as cool as JC Penneys who let you have an additional 70% off at the register but they will mail them to your home. 

I still plan to make a better version of this but it will do for now. I wore it to the Smokeout festival and homies were hella digging it. Ok, 2 people, but one girl asked me where I got it and I told her I made it. It blew her mind, or it was the ganja. 

I added my little 2pac gun hair piece (also made by me) for a lessening of the R.B.D. Celestial look.
La India RosaMaria
Paz y Baile

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Bows before Hoes, greetings from the 909

I arrived safely to So Cal, after my 7 hour solo voyage down the 5. Just me and my 2 ipods. I only had to pull off the road once to write a poem (titled 'she thought she was D.T.F.') after listening to a line in some song by The XX. Ahh the open road. Once I got here I put the ipods away for the Cali mix weekend on Power 106. Lucky me. After watching a little Jersey Shore with my nieces and nephews I asked them if they were D.T.C. Down to craft. We then set up shop, aka tore apart Cierras room to make some bows. Toda tirada. like always.

I spent many hours this week trying to learn bow making. I watched many videos on youtube over and over but due to my spacial handicaps, it proved difficult. I even considered purchasing a bow making tool from a craft store. But I didnt want to be that lame. The day I took my hello kitty/hola chola pic with my Caddy necklace, I spent a good 30 minutes on that stupid blue bow. I ignored my ringing phone in the other room and had to reschedule my gym appt with Jay-nessa. Bows before hoes. I complained to Rosie on how difficult this bow making was. Maybe I was just cut out for dominoes. "Think about when you learned to swim, you weren't a fast swimmer at first. Were you?" WTF?  Finally, I somehow developed my own way of making them and was able to pass on the knowledge to my nieces. Oh and I gave Cierra her "Ciera" necklace. She tried to tell me I spelled her name wrong and I had to school her and tell her it was a car. I would love a necklace if it were 1 letter close to my name. I guess there is the Kia Sephia. But Sephia-Sophia is more wack than Ciera-Cierra, because it is off a vowel, not a double consonant. That is why vowels are more expensive on Wheel o Fortune I guess. They make more change. Unless you are thinking of words like as or but, ass or butt. then I guess consonants matter. Gheesh I need some sleep. Its been a long day and tomorrow is the smokeout festival! We are super pumped even though there is some drama surrounding my outfit choices but ill blog on that later. cause I know everyone cares. NOT. Enjoy my dollhead/niece Cierra Garcia 909 yo.
The mess I made with the craft fair I set up in Cierras room. Raising my cup, Salud to taking me to Taco Bell.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Burbons and Lacs

Ok, just Lacs. I finally finished my first necklace after all that picking, and all that pulling. Rosie and I went  on Saturday and cleared out all the emblemas, then I went back on Monday to a different location and cleared them out, so now I just have to sell these. Here are some pics of the long process that left me with some pretty cute tan lines. My mom is the worst photographer ever, and Im the worst fodel ever but you get the idea. 
Hola Chola, my version of Hello Kitty 
Step 1: jack emblem.

I spent half the day looking for these corsets. Um they were in a bag on my bed. oops. 

 seriously, who wouldnt want her as a suegra?


Mexican train domino bracelet LaSophia, sand dollar hair clip, LaSophia

So thats all for today. Burbons and Lacs, mansions and b*tch*s, money and weed. I really loved that Ghetto D Master P album in 7th grade. gheesh, cant believe I listened to that. Good thing I came out okay. Look at me now! Hola Chola!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Tianguis LaSophia

It has already been said that pickers are a desperate lot, same can be said for swap meet goers, but none, none takes the cake like the swap meet vendor. This is role I chose to play today on this Sunday morning. Cock a doodle doo, actually “Come here rude boy, boy,” on the phone alarm @ 5:30am. As Rosie, aka La Rosa, rested her little regal head, I began loading the cruiser for a day of hustle that, with good results, would lead to the purchase of 2 tickets to the Smokeout festival for my niece and I. Like any significant event that entails leaving the house, Rosie’s chonies were in a nudo. She was stressed to the max as we pulled up to the gates of the swap meet, saying she “didn’t know where to go,” and finally, “I’m nervous!”
“What are you nervous about? Are you serious? This is the swap meet!”
We pulled up to the first man, who asked to see our sellers permit. I flashed him my paper, he said thanks and as Rosie pulled forward I shouted, “LaSophia muthaf*ck*s!”
Rosie, not a supporter of my linguistic styling scolded me, “I never thought I would have a daughter that would say such words. I thought that I would have a daughter that said ‘bless me Jesus’”
“LaSophia bless me Jesus!”
And for the first time in 30 minutes, Rosie laughed.
We paid our entrance fee and were lead to our spot by a man in a golf cart. At least we thought he was a man. As he directed Rosie into the space, telling her which way to turn her wheel because the pressure of parking in a white outlined box at the swap meet was just too much for her to handle, she announced, “These people are carnies!”
After we had unpacked and set up shop, I sent Rosie off for breakfast. I didn’t care if it was barely 8am, it was lunchtime for me, and I wanted a corndog. Like every time I would send her off that day, she would be gone for a good 30 minutes. “Hey mom, go and ask the neighbors if they have any dominoes, don’t look, just ask the person working there.” Somehow that took 30 minutes. She came back from her breakfast break with 2 mini corn dogs for me, a breakfast burrito for herself, and a bag of kettle corn, also for herself. “I can’t eat this burrito it’s all greasy!” she cried.
“It’s just steam on the tortilla,” I assured her and she burritoed away. After 26 years, I know what makes her tick.
One of the first items to go and the first swindling by a customer was a pink and purple stuffed orangutan named Sparky, Sparky Lopez. I gave him that name my senior year of high school when my ex-boyfriend and I thought we would marry one another and one day have monkey babies of our own. We switched off weekends with Sparky, and he got my boyfriends last name, as Lopez was still the rage (a post diddy J-Lo but pre Bennifer). Sparky was priced at 3 dollars but the goodness of my Christian heart let him go for 2.
People were slowly filing in and all I could see was sunshine and dollar signs. And then, some Raza. Oh my God, that isn’t just any Raza, that’s my ex-boyfriend/fiance’s parents/Sparky Lopez’s paternal grandparents!
I saw them before they saw me, and I’m too old to be embarrassed for such an encounter, even though I haven’t talked to their son who in 6 years, their son who took my virginity, asked me to marry him, cheated on me with a sea bitch named Ursula and lalalala.
“What are you guys doing here!?”
Oh my gosh! Hugs and kisses. XOXOXOXO.
I had to explain myself, what I was doing these days, and what I was doing here @ the swapmeet on a Sunday morning. I told them we were moving soon, and that I had to get rid of the stuff I’d collected all my life, and the 2 years I was in Mexico.
Then Rosie broke the ice and asked how J.J. was, they said good and that he didn’t have any kids and he wasn’t married. Then I changed the subject and asked how old his little sister was, and they said 17. Which I couldn’t believe. She was 7 when I met her, and now, she is driving. She is the age I was when I gave it up to J.J. I guess 10 years had passed, and it is so crazy to think. I was so distraught after J.J., crying that we had been together for 4 years. Now 4 years is nothing.
They gave us hugs again, and went on their way. And I tripped over the thought that they were such a big part of my life. These were people I had spent multipleChristmas’ with. And now, just a casual encounter at the swapmeet. I looked down and realized some of J.J.’s clothes I had laid out for sale on the blanket.
“I hope they didn’t see his Perry Ellis collared shirt I was selling for a dollar,” I told Rosie.
And then it was time to take pictures. I wanted to capture all of our inventory before it was sent off to the Goodwill, I mean sold. I started snapping away and I heard a, “Take my picture! The police already have my picture…And my DNA!”
I turned around to see a lady walking by whose torso did not seem to be on the same plane as the rest of her body. She was dressed in brown clothing, or she was dirty. I couldn’t distinguish. She did make me laugh though, so I did not hate on her. And, she was our neighbor, selling her own treasures to our left.
I later sent Rosie over to see if she has any dominoes and she came back and told me the lady had said, “I don’t know what the hell I have.”
“Sophia, you have to go over there. You have to go over there and tell me how much asco it gives you.”
So I went over to the crazy ladies booth o’ treasures. All she had were boxes, boxes of junk that you had to rummage through yourself. I was tempted to get a yearbook I had found from 1936, but I stopped myself.
“What’s in that cup? Just Gatorade?” I heard the crzy lady telling her crzy co-shop keeper. Getting slizzurd at the swapmeet, new trend, new trend.
When I returned with a blue flannel shirt and a Lionel Ritchie record, Rosie said, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Obviously, it didn’t give me that much asco.
By the end of the day, after crazy lady had walked by again, this time with a boom box blasting “Another one bites the dust” and dancing off her two planes, I was sunburned with swollen feet. Rosie and I packed up the shop and headed straight to the Goodwill to get rid of our last items and she retracted her statement said one hour after our arrival that morning, “We should do this every weekend.”