Monday, October 31, 2011

Fashion Horrorscopes

Madame Sophia would like to offer you some free Horrorscopes for this Halloween week.

dress- Gypsy Land in Desert Hot Springs, CA. HIGHly recommend this place.

Capricorn- Onesies aren't just for the newly born. Embrace thy inner snap crotch, a bodysuit can be the perfect solution to a sloppy undershirt that keeps riding up. Try one under a blazer, or with some high waisted jeans. You can find one at any cheapy store like Eff 21. Best thing about it is you don't have to go to the bathroom topless, like you would with a leotard or romper. Don't you hate that? Awww snap.

Aquarius- You're not a whore, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't dress like one once in a while. Ok, you got dignity, I get it. You prob also got chichis or nalgas. Put them on display, even if it's just showing off your shape in a solid body con dress. What good is granny's beanie baby collection if she keeps it in the closet?

Pisces- K.I.S.S. Keep it simple, stupid. Don't get wardrobe anxiety. Pick out some solids, and color block them b*tch*s. Put on a chain, or some hoops, and get out the door. You're an artist, remember?

Aries- I see black in your future. Black torso and black legs. How about a pair of colored pumps? Or a colorful head scarf? Black doesn't show dirt, unless its a car.

Taurus- Your fall wardrobe is as stale as my grandma's day old Rainbow bread products. Go buy yourself a new treat or hem an old fave.

Gemini- Hey twinsie, choose your fave fashion icon and try your best to emulate their mad style. Even if it's your own mama. Wait, I changed my mind. ugh. That happens to you a lot, doesn't it?

Cancer- You're so fly you need feathers, feathers, somewhere. Si se puede.

Leo- *see Virgo, since most leos are supposed to be virgos anyways and I'm running low on ideas.

Virgo- Take a cue from fellow famous virgo Beyonce and get pregnant. Or, if you aren't ready, how about a fregnancy? fake pregnancy? That'll really get him to put a ring on it.

Libra- How does it feel to have everyone like you? Critical virgo wants to know. Get a cute cape and people will like you even more.

Scorpio- Match your undergarments. escorpio. sting em, get em where it hurts.

Sagittarius- While you're up to your old tricks, try this one: put a sweater over a dress, now everyone will think it's a skirt. tricky tricky. p.s. learn how to spell your own sign. double consanant, what a doosie.

I know I'm ridiculous,


  1. I love your flowery vestido, how you come up with this, me encantan los horoscopes.
    I'm Capricornio, now I have to go look for a onesie.I like walking around topless, aveces wearing a bra tambien.
    besotes y abrazotes

  2. I love it those were great! I'm a Capricorn but the Taurus one was effing hilarious! Happy Halloween :)

  3. Freaking hilarious. How in the world did you know I have nalgas? Adore the dress, I just love your posts, so fun.

  4. jaja que loquita amiga;) me encanta tu vestido and your hair!!! you look so gorgous guapa!
    bloody kisses and happy halloween!

  5. sophiaaaaa! :D i've missed your blog! been catching up, you look stunning as usual. i love the colours in your dress! and these are so funny haha! i'm a scorpio, love matching my undies :P STING EM! xxx

  6. love your flowered dress ...
    i'm a leo and leos are far too proud to 'see virgo'. i want my own. ;)))

  7. Pero qué guapísima estás con ese vestido, Sophia.

  8. Haha! Hilarious. I struggle with being a Sagittarius and I don't own a sweater, looks like I'm in big trouble.
    Love that Hawaiian dress on you. x

  9. Fark,you look totally GORGEOUS!!! Love that frock! Love your peaceful beauty!
    Um,onesie?! Ugh!!! I don't fancy fondling around in my crotch when I need to pee.Walking around ytopless though,is just fine!XXX

  10. Ooh I'm Pisces and am gonna take your colour blocking challenge lady!!!! Hahaha these are so much fun :)

    Sadie x

  11. Love your dress - and your fashion tips! ;)

  12. First of all I'm going to need you to give me that dress. I'll fight you for it. For real. Second of all I'm a Leo. I'm sorry you ran out of ideas.....get on it and give me a fashion leo horoscope.

    Wow, I'm really demanding! Sorry about that!

    Happy Halloween. But seriously, can I have that dress? It could be like the sisterhood of traveling pants but with a dress. COME ON! Haha.

    Get UP & Go

  13. It's an amazing idea! You're great, NOT RIDICOLOUS! :D
    With love honey

  14. HAHAHA! I like my horrorscope. Or whore-oscope. I don't have full blown chichis but I have partial ones and semi-nalgas. I'll have to put them on display like you suggested. Thanks for the advice lmao. And for the laugh!




    check out my blog:)


    Black? No way - I'm all about colour!

    Sarah xxx

  17. You look gorgeous.I love that dress.Thanks for the Leo/virgo will have to fregnancy I don't want anymore devil spawns but will have an excuse to eat loads of

  18. HA! Aquarius here...and I will be dressing like a whore in my next post :O) thanks for the inspiration! haha by the way I am still laughing at your comment...I actually heard you say DROIIIID and I have never hear you...I also need a gypsy dress now...thanks girl...

    Thrifters Anonymous Monday Link Up
    New Day, New Shoes Challenge!

  19. Im a virgo and I would just like to say i have serious baby fever!

  20. WOW, absulutely adorable colourful dress!!

    Would be a pleasure if you visit me on my blog too!

  21. YES! I totes agree with my Capricorn horiscope. I do need to find that perfect onesie with the snap crotch. I know its out there for me somewhere. The days of accidentally peeing in the crotch of my leotard to avoid getting naked are OVER!

  22. Love this! Your hair is so pretty. I wish mine were as shiny.

  23. She looks so glamorous in those floral print <a href=">Feminine dresses</a>!

  24. She looks so glamorous in those floral print Feminine Dresses! (


Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. Much Love!