WANTED: Bag lady with brown feet
CHARGED WITH: Trespassing in my backyard, wearing a long dress at 5 feet tall and flats, and using Spanx as an impromptu slip (not first offense).
LAST SEEN WEARING: Vintage dress, although we're not sure if it's an old night gown.
ALSO SPOTTED At: Taco Bell, roadside- picking berries, and at Zumba dancing cumbia.
ADDICTED TO: coffee, fleatail shopping, and blogger.
OTHER HOBBIES INCLUDE: Playing dress up and laughing at her own damn jokes.
Her bag, likely to carry mace and M.A.C.
No permanent markings, just accessories that might as well be permanent as she wears them all the f-ing time.
Also likes to digitally alter pictures of nature. Please, let's get her off the streets.
If you or anyone you know have information regarding "bag lady" please leave a comment below, Thank you and have a nice Monday,