An interview with my boots

My boots were recently interviewed by a "team member" from Blogger. Find the transcript below:

Where are you from?

The Roseville Galleria. The side that didn’t burn down.

And what is your name?

Steve Madden

That’s unique, Slavic?

 It’s actually Germanic. Steve meaning “temporary” and Madden meaning “Prison of the feet.”

I see, very interesting. So how long have you known Sophia?

Its been under a week. Her mom bought us for her for an early Valentines Day present. They argued in the store for a while because Sophia said she still hadn’t even gotten a Xmas present. It was a real scene. Felt like some Veruca Salt, I want it now sh*t. Her mom finally relented cause we were 50% off. She loves feeling like she’s scored a good deal. 

How much did you guys end up costing, if I may ask?

60 bucks.

Well that’s not too steep I guess

It isn’t, but it did win us the title of being Sophia’s most expensive pair of boots.

Congratulations

Thanks a bunch. And thanks for having us. 

 like my gray?

Hi, welcome to the studio.

Thanks

where are you guys from?

We’re from Eco-Thrift, Citrus Heights' hottest thrifting spot. Sorry, not so shameless plug.

It’s allright (smiles) How did you and Sophia meet?

It’s a funny story actually. She had checked us out at the store one day, picked us up, carried us around but didn’t buy us.

Oh?

Yeah and a week later she showed up again, this time bought us. It’s cause we had been marked down, the tag colors had changed and we were now 50% off.

Sounds like a real courtship

It was. You don’t find that a lot now days.

I hear you. So, how are things going with you guys and her since you’ve moved in together?

I mean, things are good, it’s just that we don’t get out a lot. We once went with her to drum practice and she said we gave her shin splints from pressing the bass drum pedal.

That’s unfortunate. What kind of music was it, country? (laughs)

No, it wasn’t and we don’t appreciate your stereotyping. This interview is over (storm out of studio).

Hello, nice to meet you, you uh-don’t look familiar. Don’t think I’ve ever seen you around…

We’re last season

Oh well that explains it. Well let me say that you have a lovely bow.

Thanks, we got that a lot back in the day. It’s just that Sophia wore us so much last year that the nails came through our heels. Hehe. So we’ve been riding around this season in the back of her car waiting for her to take us to the cobbler.

A good cobbler is hard to find.

That’s what she said. 

Good one.

Thanks. We had our hey-day. We were showcased with cheetah shorts, leggings, dresses, jeans, you name it.

Sounds like you had quite the run. Hey, just for our readers, tell us what's on your ipod.

We like a lot of hip hop, but our fave song right now is Ke$ha's "Boots and Boys." Even though Sophia thinks she is a dirty glam wh*r*. Oops, can we say that here?

No worries, we'll bleep it out, we aren't live.

Ok good.

Well best of luck to you in your future surgery. Hopefully you can get back out there and finish where you left off.

For sure thanks. 

Good afternoon.

Buenas tardes.

Thats a lovely picture of you and your friends.

Thanks, we cherish it a lot.

Tell us how you arrived here, in this pic, on Sophia's feet?

We’re Sophia’s boots and we are from J.C.P but we crossed the border shortly after meeting her so we spent some time living in Mexico as well.

Oh, Mexico. Sounds dangerous.

Your mom sounds dangerous. 

So…um what’s your most memorable memory with Sophia?

Oh that’s easy, that’d have to be her 25^th birthday. We have plenty of photos via Marianne, as Sophia’s camera was stolen that night. Well, here take a look. We’ll narrate:

It started off, the normal birthday shot taking. Here she is taking her fave shot on planet earth, the russian roulette. It's a perfect shot lit on fire, and chased with a slice of pineapple covered in cinnamon. It's greater than ecstasy but lesser than GHB . We know, we used to dabble.

The drinking lead to dancing, or the dancing to the drinking, chicken or the egg, u get the picture. She was excited to dance banda in some botas so she busted out her old choreography. 

Some cowboys appreciated her movement and they posed for this pic. Shortly after, Marianne and her ended up in V.I.P. up in the sky bar. When she came down from the sky bar and exited the club, stepping over a crying drunk Mexican man and soothing him "ya, ya, no llores," she discovered her camera was gone. She blamed it on the narcos, a likely suspect. She was so upset she kicked a taxi, cursing it, "puto taxi," got into the car and was driven home to cry herself to sleep. 

Wow. That really is a great story. Thanks for sharing! and thanks for all the photos. 

I'd really like to thank Marianne, who was also taking photos the entire night. Without her, this night would have been lost forever. 

Purple Rain

 My photographer is back in town but leaving soon again, luckily she had time to shoot me in my finished revamped purple rain sweater skirt. It was an ugly sweater dress ($1.84), so I cut it in two and hemmed the bottom. (I'm still hand sewing fyi, still dont have any sewing lessons lined up.) She was not a fan of my thigh highs saying they are for prostitutes. Show me a prostitute in a Purple Rain sweater skirt and Hanes thigh highs and I will become one myself.

Purple Rain is not my favorite Prince song or album. My fave Prince song is 7.
"All seven and we'll watch them fall, they stand in the way of love and we will smoke them all, with that intellect and a savoir-fare, no one in the whole universe will ever compare. " Its my fave shower song. I like to two-step to it while I wash my hair with sulfate free shampoo. Number two would go to Erotic City. What's your favorite Prince jam?

blazer- thrifted, bodysuit- thrifted, skirt- DIY, bow- DIY (from scraps of sweater dress).

Shoes- Charlotte Russe- $25, thigh highs- Hanes, target, $7?

No more using my mother's, I mean uh- photographer's room as a backdrop. I had to crop all the hoarded materials out in fear of being submitted to A&E. 

The original sweater dress. 

Who should I dedicate this blog to? 

-My mom/photog for putting me on this planet to serve the universe as a blogger?

-My dance teacher K.B. The Great for always playing Prince in all her jazz classes?

-My baby daddy for showing me Housequake and improving my overall quality of life? I'm yours now and you are mine and together we'll love through all space and time

-Mary for liking Erotic City as much as me?

Shut up already. Housequake. 

I like my shirts cropped at a price down low

Call this an oversized crop top post please, dont call it a belated MLK day post which would have been last  week. Don't think I forgot the Dr., it was just too cold to rock my DIY MLK crop. Do it yourself. Buy a shirt and crop that ish.  It makes me sad that oversized crop tops are so overpriced. I went into Urban Outfitters earlier in the week and saw this bad boy but it was too much money for a tee. Thrifting changes you. It makes you see the retail world differently. Thrifting, finding Jesus, youtube-ing one too many animal liberation videos, the discovery of a new planet and the news that you are now a leo; all calls for a paradigm shift. The army (Salvation) has changed me. I shall never be the same.

focus Jaynessa, focus. Jaynessa being my photog. (Rosie was on vacay).

The scarf in my hair was my mother's, one day I shall pass it down to you my baby lucky cat. 

From this picture and post it may seem like I like the cats. I like the look of cats. Im allergic. I could tell you the story but that will have to be saved for another day. It includes some heavy themes such as: hospitalizations, steroid use, yoyo weight loss/gain, all strung into one lonely puberty.

I also cropped this shirt. It was on sale at JCP after the world cup had ended. We were back to school shopping for my nephew. Like a true diva would, I managed to find something for myself.

My first time on the beach in Playa Del Carmen, Quintana Roo,  Mexico. One of the best moments of my life experienced with my bestest friends. 

Headband Land

There's a new dollhead in town. My dear friend, Mrs. Janessa A. agreed to be my fodel for some headbands I made out of scrap sweater and fabric flowers. I didn't know what we were going to do exactly but we ended up getting pretty crazy and creative. "We are two of the funniest f*ck*rs this side of the Mississip" said Janessa. After eating a lunch of "skinny tacos" from Taco Bell (I confused Janessa by calling the ranchero tacos that a long time ago so now she orders them like that) it was time for the next best thing besides P.T.O...."working from home."We headed to the backyard where Janessa immediately got bad memories of the last time she was there when I was fraining her and making her do lunges, sprints, and burpies. true friend true friend.

"This is a great shooting headband" AND I QUOTE

Proud to be an American and bear arms. Hand sewn from an ugly thrifted sweater.

Paying her respects to Gata, my mother's dead cat.

Another headband this one has 1 flower.

"I didnt even have to use my AK, I guess it was a good day..." 

The original sweater

Do you recognize this sweater? Its the one I cut and cropped and wore in my "A day in L.A." post. Just added some fabric flowers.

"I want to try out your famous pose" she said. It worked. soo fetch.

Trying to babushka the lucky cats. 

The cats meow.

A day in L.A.

"A day in the city is a lifetime, for in that time of day one learns something of life." -d.r.

"The city has a past which it cherishes and a future which it awaits." -anonymous

going to church

praying for us sinners

Santa Sophia

"In the city, time becomes visible." -Mumford

"A happy city needs no mirrors, for in such a city the people see themselves in each other." d.r.

my nieces :)

C.C., the eldest

creepers

"A piece of the city is a piece of ourselves." -anonymous

Photos- taken by my niece, Cierra. Thanks very much C.C.

Quotes- taken from my mom's yearbook Sacred Heart High, Los Angeles, CA 1971

My sweater- some ugly Liz Claiborne number I picked up at the army. washed it, cut it, cropped it, and glued it with fabric glue, some sort of liquid hem I purchased. It held well and i suggest the method to you all if you find a sweater u like but it has an ugly cut to it. Also glued the sleeves in and the collar cause they rolled out. 

Belanova in Sacramento

Belanova is a Mexican electro-pop group, not the name of the female lead as people often refer to her. Her name is Denisse Guerrero and she is actually from Los Mochis, Sinaloa, not GDL where the group was formed. This I know because my first Mexican lover told me. He also told me he would take me there one day. It was the first, but not the last time a Mexican lover would promise to take me somewhere. To date, by these “fromises” aka fake promises I should have also visited Xalapa, Veracruz and the beaches of Michoacan. Good thing I wised up and explored the Mayan Riviera with my homegirls and not a man. Tangent over.

The good thing about getting to see these Latin artists in California is that the venue is usually more intimate, as the bands have less popularity. In Guadalajara Belanova plays the Telmex Auditorio, In Sacramento, CA, they play “The Tropicana”, a small, neon lit club next to a Chuck E Cheese and an office supply store. Classy.

Of course, I was very concerned about getting there on time, since it was standing room only and I wanted to get good pics of the band. “Don’t worry, they’re Mexican, it will start late,” Lorena calmed me. And she was right. We waited outside in a long line of Raza who looked younger than me before they let us in to sit for 2 more hours until Belanova came on.

We, a group of 3 ladies sat at a table and observed our surroundings. We, a group of 3 ladies were offered drinks which we did not accept. We are some wise Latinas that know nothing in this world is free. Plus, we did not have thirst. And then, a stranger approached the table. He began talking to Lorena and I did my usual cordial greeting, shook my hand out and “mucho gusto-ed” him. Only for him to tell me he had met me before. Oh, now I remembered. This is the clown I gave my number to the night I was a drunk vegan, so drunk that I ate 2 double cheeseburgers after the club which I vomited the next day and blamed it on Lorena and the meat. “Or maybe it was the alcohol…” she texted me. Nonsense! My vegan body was poisoned for a cheap carnivore thrill. Shame was me. I looked at his rosary that had been bejazzled probably somewhere in Hong Kong with bling. It was blasphemous on so many levels. This, coming from the girl who once brainstormed about making “Tupac Rosaries” and commits such fashion crimes as wearing white cowboy boots after labor day. After checking out his rosary, I did everything I could to avoid his gaze. He finally left the table but not before saying the ultimate machista thing, “We will dance later, what do you say, yes or yes?” I say this is machista because it offers a woman no choice. “Si or si?” “Yes or yes” to me is the Spanish equivalent of “Make me some dinner, bitch!” I shuddered in my seat and felt my bobby pins loosen in my hair. Thank God it was time for the show.

Lorena, our fearless leader, chiquita, pero picosa, lead us into the crowd as the band set up. We franced (fake danced) in place as we waited for Belanova to take the stage. Finally, after watching their concert on DVD, I would see them in person and get to sing all the songs I could actually understand. One of the reasons I like Belanova is because their lyrics are easy for an SSL person such as myself to understand. We were so close we could read the set list. There were no surprises in store now except for Denisse’s outfit. Would she rock a face piercing? A big bow? Platforms and a cupcake dress? No, she rocked fishnets, booty shorts, and a side do (which we incorrectly classified as a weave).

Denisse has a big job, she sings all the songs, the majority of which are fast tempo, and has to look cute and dance around. “I love to dance!” She told the crowd. She makes crazy faces and crazy poses. Her voice did sound a little off but after intermission where security whisked her off stage and put on her lipstick, it sounded better. I sang my little emo heart out all the while hoping my camera would not pick it up like it did when I saw Beyonce. She did not sing one of my favorite songs, “Tal Vez,” a slow jam. But maybe someday if I ever see them again, maybe, tal vez, she will. wah wah wahhhh. They gave the crowd an encore after we helplessly chanted “otra, otra!” and Lorena got to shake hands with the bass player, after I pushed her forward in the crowd to reach him. She deserved it more than me since she had thrown some serious bows into some puta trying to push her way through. Plus I didn’t want to get the uh-oh feeling I got once when shaking hands with a band member of Enanitos Verdes when he tocar-ed me like he tocar-ed his teclas, if you know what I mean... FIN.

Denisse. We were so close we could see her eyeliner and her grown out color. woowww.

Set list

Richie on bass, in a scarf and Ray Bans. Prob purchased at Liverpool. I would put pesos on it.

It's not a weave but your mom is! awww snap!

Getting down by herself, Whats wrong Sacramento? "No saben bailar?" You dont know how to dance? asked Richie.

Belabowva. I rat combed my hair into a ducktail for the occasion. It fell though when we were waiting in line in the rain.

Giving the people what they want.

y hoy te amo, and today I love you.

Laura, a robot, and Lorena.

checkered top- tianguis cultural, Guadalajara, 50 pesos

bamboo tights (very warm)- T.J. Maxx 8 dollars

black over the knee boots- JCP 50 dollas