Monday, October 31, 2011

Fashion Horrorscopes

Madame Sophia would like to offer you some free Horrorscopes for this Halloween week.

dress- Gypsy Land in Desert Hot Springs, CA. HIGHly recommend this place.

Capricorn- Onesies aren't just for the newly born. Embrace thy inner snap crotch, a bodysuit can be the perfect solution to a sloppy undershirt that keeps riding up. Try one under a blazer, or with some high waisted jeans. You can find one at any cheapy store like Eff 21. Best thing about it is you don't have to go to the bathroom topless, like you would with a leotard or romper. Don't you hate that? Awww snap.

Aquarius- You're not a whore, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't dress like one once in a while. Ok, you got dignity, I get it. You prob also got chichis or nalgas. Put them on display, even if it's just showing off your shape in a solid body con dress. What good is granny's beanie baby collection if she keeps it in the closet?

Pisces- K.I.S.S. Keep it simple, stupid. Don't get wardrobe anxiety. Pick out some solids, and color block them b*tch*s. Put on a chain, or some hoops, and get out the door. You're an artist, remember?

Aries- I see black in your future. Black torso and black legs. How about a pair of colored pumps? Or a colorful head scarf? Black doesn't show dirt, unless its a car.

Taurus- Your fall wardrobe is as stale as my grandma's day old Rainbow bread products. Go buy yourself a new treat or hem an old fave.

Gemini- Hey twinsie, choose your fave fashion icon and try your best to emulate their mad style. Even if it's your own mama. Wait, I changed my mind. ugh. That happens to you a lot, doesn't it?

Cancer- You're so fly you need feathers, feathers, somewhere. Si se puede.

Leo- *see Virgo, since most leos are supposed to be virgos anyways and I'm running low on ideas.

Virgo- Take a cue from fellow famous virgo Beyonce and get pregnant. Or, if you aren't ready, how about a fregnancy? fake pregnancy? That'll really get him to put a ring on it.

Libra- How does it feel to have everyone like you? Critical virgo wants to know. Get a cute cape and people will like you even more.

Scorpio- Match your undergarments. escorpio. sting em, get em where it hurts.

Sagittarius- While you're up to your old tricks, try this one: put a sweater over a dress, now everyone will think it's a skirt. tricky tricky. p.s. learn how to spell your own sign. double consanant, what a doosie.

I know I'm ridiculous,

Friday, October 28, 2011

Chasing Mexican Waterfalls

I have done nothing fashion/style oriented in a week, however, I do still exist. So I share with you one of the most beautiful trips of my life. When my dear friend Rogelio aka Roger Emo aka Papi, went to the Mexican state of San Luis Potosi and visited these waterfalls in Tamasopo. Eff what you heard, Mexico is a beautiful country with all types of biomes.

Didn't bring my suit cause I didn't know you could swim in it!

He says his lips do this naturally.

At the top

hiking in flip flops, right before one flew off and fell in the water. Good thing I had a spare pair of flat boots!

La laguna azul. The blue lagoon. The roof of the waterfall.

I imagine if I die, heaven will look like this,


Friday, October 21, 2011

Freaky Flashback Fruity Friday

Here I am in my vintage rasta jacket I got at the Salvation Army. Besides red, black, and white, I think black, green, red, and yellow are my favorite color combinations. I'm not going to hide it anymore. These are my true colors. And ain't no one gonna tell me I can't wear colored shoes with black tights.

jacket- thrifted
bodysuit- Eff-21
bandage skirt- Eff-21
shoes- Reflection

Mother said: "It looks like you aren't wearing anything on the bottom."
I said: "That's the point."

I was trying to show you my rasta domino bracelet I made but my mom photog, didn't zoom in.

Guess what? I actually learned something valuable from E! News the other day. Actually from Miss Kelly Rowland. Any bff of Beyonce is a friend of mine. Kelly revealed one of her juicing recipes so I decided to try it: apples, kale, spinach, ginger, and lemon.

Me in my natural habitat.

Don't worry, bed head and uneven skin tone are treatable conditions. This juice was very delicious. Kelly Rowland be my motivation. Tell me if  you have any other juice recipes. I prefer to drink my fruits and veggies. 

I leave you with my favorite song of all time "Let the Beat Hit Em." I texted my niece that last night and she told me, "Wow, that is some deep shit."

Drink fruit, Get down,


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Red fish tail and mint fizz

No, those aren't my new favorite types of sushi, they are the names of my new favorite dress and the paint color I used to restore this vintage vanity.

dress- salvation army $2.99 - 60% cause it was 60% off day.
shoulder pads- included

Got this bad boy at a yard sale down the street from my house for $25 dollars. The lady even delivered it to my house for me! 

There went my weekend. After sanding it like I was sanding off the genitals of an ex-lover who had wronged me, painting it with 3 coats of mint fizz paint, and screwing on 8 knobs that cost me $3.69 a piece, it was time to bring it inside. 

I still don't have a stool for it so I just sit in my favorite yoga pose.

yogi nalgona. 

So I left out a little drama. My dad wouldn't let me bring it in the house so I had to cover it with a holy tarp while it rained for 3 days in the backyard. By then it was a little warped on the bottom but I didnt care. Then while I was sick and dressed as an animated dog, I purchased a GALLON of paint (so stupid) cause I wasn't thinking. That set me back another 25 bucks. Then after I painted it, the drawers were getting stuck and I was all stressing out about trying to fit the mirror on so I laid down on my floor and cried. Luckily my uncle saved it for me, by showing me how to shave off some wood and paint and screwing on my mirror for me. My dad told me to just go buy another one, that this one was a piece of crap. But I had so much invested in it, he did not understand. These are the theories of junk my family lives by:

My dad: everything is junk in this house, unless it is mine.

My mom: I don't see any junk. Don't touch my stuff. I don't touch your stuff. 

My former boyfriend who lived with us: Because of the over abundance of junk in your trunk, I will turn a blind eye to all other junk surrounding me.

Mint fizz b*tch*s,


Friday, October 14, 2011

Spotty Dotty FF

Last night I dreamt of a puppy...

And then I woke up and put on this

shirt- thrifted 
skirt- so old Charlotte Russe?
shoes- Reflection

This was the look I was going for. Anyone a Spotty Dotty fan? 

I couldn't resist the print of this shirt so I bought it. Then I wore it to the doctor and Home Depot.

Check out my Flitas (fake Litas)! I got them at Reflection for $40 dollars and they don't hurt my feet!

I don't really have a lot to say today so I'm going to direct you to some of my favorite blogs. First one is Sarah, she is a thrifter/fitness guru. She is running a giveaway that you should all enter for a $25 Itunes card. I won her last one yay! 

Next is Sarah's IRL (in real life) bff, Shana. Shana runs a group of thrifting divas known as "Thrifters Anonymous." She hosts a weekly link up, every Monday. She also awards one lucky clown "comment of the week" guess who won last week?

And last but not least my homegirl, Mexican cousin living in England Dora. This hooker is hilarious! She will show you her pretty boot sale finds, freaky ways to paint your nails, Mexican recipies, and tarot cards. 

I could go on and on and on but I'll leave you with 3. Have a safe weekend, its a crazy world out there,


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Mall Rats

blazer- G'Will
leotard- thrifted
beaded shorts- Urban Outfitters $10
shoes- Salvatore Ferragamo

This week marked the grand re-opening of our local mall. Well, only part of our mall had to re-open. You see, last year it was half burnt down by this guy:

Don't worry, no one was hurt and he didn't burn any of the "good stores." Urban Outfitters, Nordstroms, Macys, JCP's, Eff 21, M.A.C., H&M, Sephora, Hot Topic, and the food court were all untouched. He did however cause $55 million dollars in damage and put a sh*t ton of people out of work.  He also put our Westfield on the map! This story made national headlines. Watch as hard hitting local news 10 analyze his Facebook page for signs of a troubled man. "Facebook Page Unveils Piggee's Personality" My favorite part is how they call him "Mr. Piggee" as in "piggy" guess it is pronounced "pi-jay."

So of course when I met my uncle for lunch at the mall this weekend my thrifting self had no idea the grand reopening was going on. Let's just say the place was infested with mall rats. There was also live entertainment! A DJ in one place, a banjo in another, and this lady:

a human statue wow! 

The best part by far were the 3 pairs of Urban Outfitter shorts I scored for 10 dollars each. They had 50% off all clearance. My uncle was nice enough to walk in and out of every store with me as I examined all shoes, and things Hello Kitty.

Mr. Piggee will be serving 15 years for his successful arson attempt. He was a troubled man, on prozac and oxycontin when he did the deed. He did apologize in court however, which is nice. I think they slapped some more years on to his sentence after that for trying to burn his own grandmother's house. He says when he gets out he wants to pay everyone back for the damage. Aww que bonito.

Q. What's wrong with me this tree?

A. My dad hired some "ex-con's" to do some yard work. They trimmed the bottom 5 feet of the tree off LOL! They also smoked la mota (mary jane) in our driveway. 

Thanks for listening to this exciting tale of my oh so adventurous life,

Monday, October 10, 2011


Re-do, Do over. Did your teacher ever scribble that on your work in school? When it happened to me it was usually over my sloppy handwriting or effortless coloring. Look at me now, typing away, who needs handwriting anymore?

What it meant was the teacher was giving you another chance. That they knew  you didn't put your best work forward. That was my intention is this post. To show you a "look" I have been working on, a pair of my mom's old pants that I've been trying to style. I just get so excited every time, strange things occur.

shoes: vintage Salvatore Ferragamo
pants- my mother's hidden collection
bodysuit- thrifted
chi chi bra- my chi chi bra drawer
necklace- Melody Ehsani
lipstick- Revlon, orange flip

 The first version lacked accessories. Luckily something very big happened to me recently, I found Jesus. He was in my craft box.

I added a piece of chain, loop, and hook to make an earring.

Looking back at my original outfit I put together, I don't know if the 2nd version was improved or not. 

Original version. No bangs, diva lipstick by MAC, thrifted bodysuit, and Target shoes.

But the 2nd one did show my bra which is keeping Selena's memory alive, so I'm happy.

 My mother always said, you are never a loser if you try. Losers are people who don't try. So at least I tried to make my outfit more exciting. Even if I failed, I'm a winner for trying. Have a beautiful week dearest blog friends.


Friday, October 7, 2011

Vintage Suitcase (wow, thats sounds so unexciting)

I was pretty sure my dad was going to kick my *ss when I brought this suitcase home from a yard sale a little while ago. For only 2 dollars, it was a chance I was willing to take. I brought it inside and as I twinkle toed to the bottom of my stairs, I heard his voice, "What's that?"

"A suitcase."
"For what?"
"For uh, my craft fairs."
"I don't get it."
"You know, like I can open it and put things in it, like as a display."
"Oh, I get it as a prop?"
"Yes, a prop."

And I continued on my way up to my room and dumped it on my crowded floor. Even though I haven't had a craft fair since February, you never know when you're gonna need a suitcase with a collage on it.  "Tomorrow belongs to those who prepare today."Tell me you don't think hoarders would have a good chance of survival if some crazy disaster happened. They are ready for anything.

dress- Salvation Army
shoes- Jeffrey Campbell

I'm not gonna lie, I don't like this dress for myself. It's a little too Laura Ingalls "Wild"er for me. It's definitely going in the Etsy shop I don't have yet. At least I realize it now that I've seen pictures of myself in it. Didn't Cher say that in Clueless? "I don't trust mirrors, so I always take polariods." Smart vegan.

P.S. I'm petrified of snakes, so it was really surprising I was able to purchase this suitcase. I thought it would be good phobia therapy for me. In my defense, growing up in the country snakes were a real threat esp. rattlesnakes. We found many and I always had to watch where I walked and ran when I played outside. 

Your half pint,